Don't look at mommy, I look like crap!

Spaghetti

New trick.

I let Sam feed herself spaghetti last night and I thought it was so cute that I should take a picture. When started to take her picture she stopped eating and smiled or tried to smile for picture. Her smile looks almost painful and her one eye is closed more than the other. I think she looks beautiful.

Sam's ride

I don't know who had more fun outside daddy or Sammy.

Sam's song

Happy Birthday to Samantha

Sam eating cake

Sam likes cake, everybody likes cake.

Who knew it was so expensive to be in shape. I waited to see if my body could handle running long distances so the price for the St. Louis ½ marathon was $65. Part of me feels bad spending the money but, how many concerts and base/football games has Shane gone to.
April 6th my first mommy ½ marathon.

Sleeply Sam

Sam dancing

I only have 8 more working days with pumping!
19 days total, but I don't pump much when I am not working.
HOTDOG.

Pancakes

Walking, holding on.

Sam's first glass of milk. She loves it.

Sam 11 months.

Sam's Florida outfit.

I try not to use this word to often but let me tell you what I HATE. When bad things happen to good people! I guess that all life is precious but it really doesn’t seem fair for something bad to happen to someone (medically) that is a great and wonderful person. While there are really bad people (murders, rapist and pedophiles) that run around healthy as a horse. (for privacy reasons this person will remain nameless, please don’t think it is anyone in my family, luckily we are all doing well)

34 days to go!!!!!

For the first time since about September 2006 Becky and I ran together outside. It was great!!!!! We ran a surprisingly easy 4 miles at Arnold Park on Sunday during the football games. I have been running on a treadmill in the morning while the baby sleeps but the treadmill is just not the same. We are going to run again next weekend, weather and baby permitting.

34 more days to go on the BF count down. I can’t wait. It looks like I might have more formula than I need to make it till February 18th and I still have frozen breast milk left.

Sam walking ( a little)

Sorry you have to turn you head.

I am excited to share that I am currently 6 pounds lighter then I was at my first prenatal visit last June. I have 3 more pounds to go before I reach my goal weight. Some of you may think “3 pounds that is nothing”. But, these are the hardest 3 pounds for me to loss and keep off. I know that weight loss is hard for everyone! For me the closer I get to my goal weight the harder it is.
PS I ran again this morning.

Count down to B-Day.
No, not my birthday, but boob day. Today marks the start of my weaning count down. That is right I am still breast feeding. You may be remembering a blog were I announced I was done with breastfeeding. During the weaning process Sam started showing more interest in nursing so I picked it back up. When it comes to nursing the baby gets what the baby wants. Anyway….. today marks 40 days until I am done. I know it would make a little more sense to start the count down at 30 days but I am just too excited to wait. I know that part of me will miss the bonding that nursing brings a mother and child but the freedom will be exhilarating….. I can go anywhere and do anything without worrying out pumping or being with Sam to feed her. I won’t have to plan my morning, evenings or weekends around breastfeeding!!!!! I am just sooooo excited, if you can’t tell.

dance

Snow

This is from a few weeks ago.

Bath time

This picture is a little dark but Sam is so cute.

She is the best gift we got in 2007

Yesterday I stopped for gas in Imperial on Main Street and I had to wait inline for a long time. Slow checker + long line = good conversation with the people in line. I am chatting up a storm with the gentleman in front of me and behind me. We were disusing the usually possibility of snow or ice that evening. After a lull in our great conversation the gentleman behind me says, “Do you need any meats? I have some in my truck”. I look outside and sure enough there is a small truck with a deep freeze in the back. For those of you that know me, you know I have a hard time saying no to people like this. Remember when I had to read the bible with the door knockers in Springfield? Anyway, I said no thank you as nice as I could. He kept pushing with “What you don’t eat boneless, skinless chicken?” For whatever reason I feel the need to lie to this man verses just saying no again. I go into this long story about how I don’t eat a lot of meat, that I don’t have much room in my freezer and that I don’t have a deep freeze for storage.
I guess I am just a people pleaser at heart even to the point that I would rather lie to a complete stranger that I will never see again than tell him no.

Can you believe how great this Santa looks?

I made peace with not nursing Sam anymore and I would say that I am 75% excited about stopping. To wean her I started cutting back on pumping at work and in the evening but still nursing her two to three times per day and over the weekend she started nursing again. What the F@*k. What I am suppose to do now. Start back up or quit? She’s not even a teenager and she is already giving me a hard time. I think I am going to keep going especially after spending $23.00 for formula that I think only last 4 days.

Also, I started running (I had decided not to worry about exercise while I was nursing to reduce stress). I ran ½ mile on Sunday and 1 mile on Monday plus walking. My brother asked if I would be interested in running a ½ marathon in April. I am not sure it can be done, but I am going to try.

Sammie's first Christmas

I am done!!!! There I said it and this time I mean it. Three strikes equal an out in baseball so I figure that three strikes with lactation are the same. Sam isn’t nursing anymore. Well to be honest she might nurse for five minutes. My co-worker that is a lactation consultant said (4 weeks ago) that she might be self-weaning. I didn’t want to hear that so I ignored her, then on the 27th we took Sam for her 9 month check up and she LOST weight! The pediatrician said pretty much the say thing “you should be proud that you made it this long” that is strike two if you are counting. Still not wanting to hear this I called the hospital that Sam was born in and asked the lactation consultant what should I do to increase her nursing time. Strike three; she said I should be proud of all of my hard work and that I could keep pumping for the next three months if I wanted her to get mostly breast milk. Well, let me just tell you that not only is pumping a big old pain in my ass it isn’t good at extracting the milk. That means that when I just pump for more than a few days it goes ways. So, my baby is growing up no mater how hard I try to stop it.
On a side note we put up our tree last night and when we turned off the house lights and turned on the tree Sam’s expression was priceless. She loves her tree. I will post picture later.

Get this…..
Sam has not been nursing for as long has she used to.
Before she would nurse for a good 40 minutes then around 6 months she dropped down to maybe 20-30 minutes total and that was great. But, sometime about a month ago she has dropped down to MAYBE 5 minutes. Sometimes in the morning she will nurse for 10 minutes if I am lucky. I ask a coworker who is a lactation consultant and she said that Sammie might be self weaning. I decided to keep on trying to breast feed. Last night at her 9 month check up her weight dropped. That is right she lost weight! I asked her doctor about the nursing issue and she said the same thing about the self weaning. I thought I made it through all of the breastfeeding struggles and issues and it was suppose to be easy sailing until 1 year. I think about quitting all of the time, but I never once thought Sam was thinking about quitting.
No matter what look how cute she is.

Sam loves all things Shrek and she has not even seen the movie.

Grossing me out!
Sam has her first of many colds and I feel like a bad mom because it is totally grossing me out. I can handle any diaper and the spit up didn’t really bother me but apparently snot is breaking point. It is just running out of her nose none stop. I don’t want to piss her off by wiping every 10 seconds and for the most part it doesn’t seem to bother her. But, uck sometime she gets it on her hand before I can wipe it off and then she touches whatever and it makes me a little sick to my stomach. I guess that I am snot sensitive.

Sam's banana

Sam eating a banana, or trying to at least.

Sam's new floors

I had a great birthday. Thank you to all of you that made it to the party. Check out a few pictures.

MSR and Alison

Shane and Ernie

Keith KMO Kathy and Justin

Billie, Carrie Kathy

Grandpa and Sammie

Karin and Billie

Kristy, Elaine, Angie and Laura

Carrie, Justin and Shane

Jim and Carrie

Keith and Roger

Becky and Carrie

Carrie and her Goose

Sammie's first Halloween.

It looks like Sam is pushing Ruby, but it was a love push.

Sam was a ghost and Ruby was a cat.

Well the big day isn’t far away, but I don’t feel like anything big is going to happen. If you believe that you are only as old as you feel I am 18. Looking back on the last 30 years I realize how lucky I am. Let’s recap….
I don’t remember much before 5 but I do remember falling down the stairs while my brother and neighbor Tim were watching me. To stop me from crying they gave me my old binky. (Please note that my brother didn’t push I just fell). I remember eating Charles Chips out of the can (remember they came in bags inside the can). I have a few memories of my babysitter Queeny and her black hair and 70s style décor.
I went to a good elementary. I think my Grandma came and fixed bread with the class once. I sailed a lot and played with my cousins and my parent’s friend’s children. Now knowing how hard life can be I consider myself lucky that I didn’t have any worries has a child. So many kids today don’t have two parents or any parents at home and they have to worry about where their food is going to come from. My biggest problem was I had to clean up my room before the clean lady came and my mom and dad didn’t take me to Hawaii when they went. How lucky was I?
Being a teenager wasn’t as easy (ask my mom) but I didn’t drop out of school or become addicted to drugs or alcohol. Also, I think that I had fun a few times. I made friends that I am proud to say are still my friends today some thirteen years later (Seckman Bs).
High school was FUN. Still again I was lucky to go to a good school, make wonderful friends that I still hang out with and live in a safe neighborhood. I had anything and everything I needed. Sure they were a few high school stresses but looking back I had it GREAT.
College wasn’t always easy but some where along the line my parents taught me about hard work and what it takes to get something you want. I made so many great friends that are still my friends today. This is also the time in my life when I met Shane. I still remember the exact moment I realized he liked me. I remember how comfortable I was with him and how we just seemed to fit together on our very first date. I couldn’t tell you the exact moment I fell in love but I don’t ever remember not loving Shane.
Then all of the sudden I put on a cap and gown and POOF I am an adult. Luckily I found a job that I loved and spent 5 wonderful years there making friendships that will last a life time. We bought our first home and then got married. I still think of October 23, 2004 as one of my best days. Having all of our friends and family together to celebrate our love was so much fun, plus my dress was killer. We bought our current house only a few years later and surprise, about two weeks after we moved in we found out I was pregnant. (I knew there was a reason that I didn’t feel like unpacking besides just being lazy). Most of you followed my pregnancy right here, pretending like you saw a baby in the ultrasounds I posted. I am tempted to say that the last 8 months have been the most exciting of all my 30 years but that isn’t to say that great things didn’t happen to me before Sam was born.
Samantha is 8 months old now and I am just now starting to feel like MAYBE I am not a complete idiot. One of the many things I have learned in the last 8 months is that you can never truly understand how much your parents love you until you have your own child. Don’t get me wrong before Sam was born I knew how great my parents were it is just more powerful now.
When you watch TV you see just how many crazy people there are in this world and I realize that could be any of us. I just so happened to be lucky to have great parents, a wonderful husband, a loving extended family, a amazing group of friends and pretty fanatic child. You may not believe in God but if you think about someone like me and my life you have to say I am truly blessed. Because the people that normally read this blog are my friends and family I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for everything you have ever done for me. Each of you has taught me something that has shaped the person I am today. Please know that I am truly grateful to have you all in my life. Also, I hope that I have positively affected your life. I realized not to long ago (and I am not scared to admit) that I love to laugh and make other people laugh. Their isn’t much that makes me more happy than seeing my friends and family smile or laugh, so I hope that at some point in our relationship you have had a good laugh!!!!

Sam sitting up with one of her new favorite toys from Great Uncle Terry and Great Aunt Sally.

Sam's 8 month picture with her friend the hippo. She is so big now that they don't fit on the chair together.

Shane and Sam at Elephant Rock, 2007

Sam and Tuesday

Samanthan and her cousin Jayden at their first wedding.

The coldest weekend in September at Bunker Hill with the Allens. Sammie's first swing. Everyone had a great time.

Check out Melody and Jeff's blog.

http://babykesstwo.blogspot.com/

The new job is going well. My first day out to a school they had a lice scare!!!! Don’t worry it was a negative on the lice. I really do miss my friends/coworkers from Food Outreach, but since I have been gone I have seen everyone two times and I am going back Friday to do a little reporting!!!
We finally have our hardwood floors in and it is about time. After Shane, Ernie and my dad worked like crazy to pull up the old (NASTY DIRTY ASS) carpet we wanted for 3 weeks for the wood to come in. Then after if finally arrived we had to wait another week for the wood to get comfortable in our house (adjust to the humidity). Then we had to live with my parents and Matt and Becky’s house while we waited for the smell to go away. We ended up waiting twice as long because there were a few spots that Shane didn’t like. Luckily my parents and Matt and Becky still like us. I do have to admit that the floors look beautiful. Now I just have to get everything clean again.
Sorry I don’t have any new pictures to share. I will have some next week.

Sam

Sam

Happy Baby

Sam is watching me dance. (Look at Shane's smile)

Girls Weekend 2007

I think that everyone had a great time. I know that I did.